Scadalous/ Saturday, March 12
it came as a Blow..after i woke up..came 2 sms i dreaded..boTh of de same content..i didNt believe it..i jux couldn't..he was fine yesterdae.and he even responded with his legs..and how..how did it all happen~..i'm in a mess now..went to work..and i coped well..realli..i did..i was drowned in all de smilings~ so it comforted me a bit..kept playing de soNg .."hAo xing fen shou" before dde shop was opened..and one sentence juz strucked and triggered my tear gland..it went.." bu yao zhe yang li kai wo..hen tai duo..mei jie guo.." meaning..duN leave me juz like tt..its no point hating..dere wuN be an end..i wuNder how will tmr pass...actualli i juz want to BE dere..myself..tokiNg to him iN my heart..i'm sure he hears..and he will hear..i duNnOee..i realli wanna be with him Now..de worse thing..bad things neva cum in oNee..i'm still stucked.with him..and my feelings fer him..my emotions are so unstable Now..i miss kai..i realli d0..i wanna see him..so bad..so bad..meeting aaron early tmr..juz so i can see him..i duN eveN wanna close my eyes..duN wanna miss a thing..cuz i Noe..this wake will end in a bliNk of time..Kai..im feeling heavier and heavier..i juz hate de nite..when it cums..and i'm all aloNee..i start thiNkiNg..everythiNg seems like yesterdae..and juz seeing ur fotos makes me siNk..No more hopess.but im' still trustiNg..God had delivered u..and fred u..i see u with de angels in heaven..free from all sufferings..but y am i feeliNg hurt..duN wanna Be selfish..duN wanna hope fer u to hang on and suffer..but wad was i hoping fer..i'm in a mess now..but thanks kai..u've got ur best buddies..who u brought as angels fer us..who are willing to see us thru..but kai..it still seems like a nitemare..everythiNg jux seem like yesterdae..and i juz tot u will wake up soon..realli..i realli tot so..kai..u heard mee..and everything i'Ve said and told u..but y..wad's G0d's will?! i trust in him..i realli do..buT..i juz feel so drained..outta eVeRythiNg..kAi..PLxx plxx plz...appear in my dreams..and tell me all those things u haven said..and let me finish all those things i haven said..~
indulgence in the wee hrs 0f..
12:14:00 AM
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